Last-Minute Rants from 2008

Crusing WaPo tonight. Saw, again, Sally Quinn doing women and religion. That's like Bill O'Reilly doing charm and chastity.

Can we put a lien on the holdings of the Bush family to compensate us for the massive fraud romp they've perpetrated on us all?

Yes, I'll pray for peace in the Mid-East, and yes, I know Hammas fired first this time, but dammit, this Gaza conflict makes me sick. Angry and fed up. I'm sick of Palestine, sick of Israel, sick of Hammas, sick of Hezbollah, sick of Irgun, sick of Haganah, and sick of everyone like any of them. I'm sick of US policy, sick of Arab policy, sick of Israeli policy. I'm sick of the whole effing lot of them. Everyone involved has failed abjectly for 60 miserable, woe-begotten years. Yes, I know I'm not there, but so how long does it take to end war and make peace? How many brain cells does it take to see that violence just breeds violence? When do these people lay down their weapons for the sake of their children? Or do they intend to keep this up until the conflagration overtakes the entire world? Sometimes things are so screwed up they can't ever be fixed. This is one of those things. The only way out is to lay down the weapons and lay down the grudges.

The most annoying Talking Head on TV? That self-righteous, overstarched, cross-eyed Republican. Somehow he reminds me of a seagull on a dry pier post. Get him out of here.

Did you hear that Republican babe announce last night that next on the list of the Republican social terrorists will be gay adoption? I am so unutterably fed up with our being the national punching bag. Have they no imagination?

I know. Let's start a counter-movement. No marriage, no adoption, no out in the military? Fine. No taxes, no culture, no poetry, no style. We'll be only too delighted to leave you to your tomato-wrestling, Velveeta-eating, Palin-worshipping, Enquirer-oggling, Limbaugh-laden, Hummer-craving, sour, miserable, faded, despairing, panicky, tacky, craven little Chef Boyardee lives.

It's "symbolic" to prosecute Bush and Cheney for war crimes and other acts of treason? Does that mean it's "symbolic" to prosecute the rest of us for speeding? God I hate how these people think.

If you hate insurance companies and financial planners even more than you hate Exxon, raise your hand.

What's more useless than t*ts on a boar hog? Being compelled to know that you're patronizing a "Christian" dry cleaner or a"Christian" Jiffy Lube or a "Christian" drywall hanger. Is this a campaign to balkanize this country or just an excess of sharing? Emphatically: I don't need to know the religion of my shoe repairman. I need to know he can fix my shoes. So just shut up. Like the man says, "You don't tell me about your religion, I don't tell you about my genital warts." That's a deal, baby.

My hopes for 2009? We're out of Iraq and Afghanistan, we adopt a comprehensive, sane, and humane immigration policy, Joe Arpaio is impeached, there really are war crimes and treason trials, our soldiers get first-rate health care, the economy turns around fast, the Wall Street crooks go to jail,and the whole world goes green. See Wall-E.

I'm going to stand up in a minute and kick 2008 from here to history, but first I have to wish everyone a sincere happy, healthy, peaceful, wonder-filled, loving, and adequately prosperous New Year, and I do. Long shots sometimes work out fine. And before I go, I want to wish Barack Obama the best four years he's ever had, and thank God for Rachel Maddow.

Night, all. Thank you so much for dropping by.