Monday, January 26, 2009

NEVER Get a GE DECT Digit 6.0 Cordless Phone

Model 27909 EE1 just sucks. That's $80.00 worth of suck, too.

Item: It weighs, looks, and feels like the high-tech equivalent of a tin can.

Item: The manual says to install the battery pack in the back of the handset. Fine. Only there's no way to get the back of the handset open. Ignore the main photo here. It looks as if there's a split at the halfway mark, which might suggest that the top or bottom half slides down to reveal the battery casket. Not. Look instead at the photo on the right. No line. And what you can't see is the fact that the "call-me-stainless" back has four sides that fit tightly over the front part of the phone, making a slide movement impossible in any direction. Nor can it be lifted up, or popped up, or pried up.

Item: The 1-800 service number has been disconnected. Now you get to pay to talk to these morons about the garbage they've just sold you. Nice, eh?

Item: You guessed it: When they answer, they answer in a distinct East Indian accent. I'm teeth-gritted, white-knuckled OK with that, but I do at least expect them to know what the hell they're attempting to talk to me about in English.

Item: They don't.

"Slide the back of the handset. It will open."
"No, it won't. Because it can't slide. Do you know why it can't slide? Because it fits on the front of the handset like a box top. It has four sides. Something can't slide unless there's at least one open side to slide out of. Do you see?"
"I believe I understand you. Will you please hold a moment?"
"Do I have any choice?"
"I will be back in just a moment."
(Pause, pause, pause, pause, pause. Pause, pause, pause, pause, pause, pause.)
"Thank you for your patience.[!] Now, if you will slide the back of the handset, it will open."
"What did you say to me?"
"Ma'am, I said, 'If you will slide the back of the handset, it will open.'"
"Did you hear me when I told you that IT WILL NOT SLIDE OPEN BECAUSE IT CANNOT SLIDE?"
"Perhaps you can get someone to help you. . . . "

Repeat four times.

Item: After 10 minutes on the help line, this woman actually had the 'nads to suggest that I "get someone to help me."

"Um, what are they paying YOU for! I didn't call to ask about your mother-in-law. I called because ostensibly you can help me. That is what you are here for, is it not? However, it is all too evident that you don't have the foggiest idea what you're talking about, that you've never seen this model in your life, that you wouldn't know 'slide' from 'chinchilla,' and that helping me is the very LAST thing you can do!"

Just. Do. Not. Get. This. Phone. This "phone" is a bait-and-switch phone. It pretends to be a phone when actually it is a paperweight. This "phone" in my view was manufactured for the sole purpose of driving people insane. It probably comes with a coupon for psychotherapy.

It is sold by Home Depot. If you must go there for a phone, DO. NOT. GET. THIS. PHONE.

It is better by far just to go outside and yell.


Anonymous said...

I just tried to open the back of the handset to insert battery. After trying to find directions in the User's Guide I found your blog. Thanks for making me laugh. I won't even attempt to talk to "help" line. I have had too many experiences already like you did with other products. Lately, GE is manufactured more crap, like my "fancy" refrigerator. Nothing but trouble and cheap, cheap materials.

PICO said...

Thank you!

Do you wonder that the USA is caught up in the maelstrom that others call "that giant sucking sound"?

This shit is to a functioning piece of technology what squeezee cheese is to cheese.